My Journey

The Cancer Journey from Beginning to End

We have been trying to work out how best to do this. As so many of you wonderful people have been sending me such gorgeous messages and I want to reply to them all but I either run out of time or my pre-chemo brain gets in a muddle!!

Those who know me know that there will be a lot of exclamation marks in my writing and so I apologise to the purists out their, like James, that grammar has never been a strong point of mine. I write/type as I talk ie. without stopping!

So am going to send this email to a whole lot of people and hopefully they will forward it on to a whole lot more – a bit like a triangle selling scheme but no money involved. No one needs to reply but I do love hearing about everyone’s news and gossip and really dont want to spend the next 6 months in isolation. Whilst I might not be up to doing much or seeing many people I would still love to hear from people but please forgive me if I dont reply in person but through the round robin email. I will send it out when there is something to say – or nothing.

Now for the first update: I have breast cancer. Such a bloody bore when I was going to become the best and most wonderful Health Kinesiologist. I now have to put that on the back burner for the next year. I am hopeful that the good Lord is using this little learning journey in another direction as a way that I can be an even better HK and energy therapist in the future.

I found something odd on the Monday night and on Tuesday morning walked into Princess Grace Hospital in Marylebone. Was seen, mamogrammed, ultrasounded, core biopsied by 11am when Professor Mokbel said he was certain it was cancer but not sure which one so was sent off to have a mri. The worst half an hour of my life and the most frightening being strapped down on my stomach in a machine for half an hour and told to ‘breathe lightly’.

Returned to the Hospital on Thursday to be told that it was grade 3 aggressive and mri had not showed up anything in the lymph nodes but had showed up something in the right breast. Had biopsy in that one too (for some reason this took forever as it was very small and very deep).

Went home and told the children and some of you lot. Really not easy telling the children but I was very hopeful that it was the same as my sister Eliza’s and she had managed it all so well. Nothing like a bit of sisterly competition. Anything she could do I was sure I could too!!

Went back on Monday evening and the wheels fell of our car. It all started with them saying the Prof was ill (first time in 20 years!!) so I was seen by the lovely girl and she tried to tell me about the good news and the bad news …… cant remember the good news. The long and the short of it is that I have triple negative cancer. I have been strictly told not to google it but basically it is a cancer for cancers sake. It is not hormonal nor does it respond to any of the hormonal treatments. And …. it is is the lymph nodes on the left hand side.

Cant pretend that I was particularly brave hearing this news. I then went back to ultrasound to have a tag put into the tumour and had 2 biopsy’s taken of the lymph nodes. Talk about looking like a pin cushion.

The following day, Tuesday, we went to see my new boyfriend Professor Paul Ellis. Such a nice man, same age as me and from New Zealand and is all things to all ladies with breast or lung cancer. He’s twinkly, positive, reassuring as well as honest. He is a leader in the field of research and he is throwing the kitchen sink at me! The next day I had another meeting with him followed by a lot more tests and a portacath put in to make the chemo administration much easier. They put a thimble sized port in your chest and run the line up into the vein in your neck. The op went very well but my neck hurt a lot yesterday. Better today though. First chemo starts on Thursday and is followed by one session every 3 weeks for 4 sessions. Then I have it weekly for 12 weeks (all through the summer holidays!). So glad to now have a plan. I can get my head around it now.

The children are very sad (that is what I hate cancer most of all for). They all have ‘buddies’ who they are using when they need a laugh or time out. If you are a parent of one of these buddies a heartfelt ‘thank you’ for having such a wonderful child. James has a few very close friends who are supporting him too. I truly believe it is worse for him and the children than me. For me it is now my JOB and I have to get from a to b as successfully as possible. For them there is nothing they can do except watch.

My HK buddies and all the other new wonderful friends I have made over the past 2 years have been so marvellous and I am using them to help me stay positive and strong. I currently have two cosmic batteries (Cosbats) in my left hand bra and a strong healing crystal in my right. I also take medicinal cannabis before bed. My children are horrified but it is licensed and really works well for cancer.

We are having a wonderful Easter with lots of family and friends and I am trying to get everything sorted before Thursday.

Thank you all so much for all your amazing messages and loving thoughts. It really has made it all so much better and please do stay in touch and tell me all your news. As I said before if I can reply I will but please excuse me if I dont. I do read them and cherish them.

Also, I am very keen to hear from anyone who knows of someone who has had or got triple negative breast cancer. There are very few of us out there and whilst the prognosis is good, it seems hard to find them. Drs cant put people in touch – client confidentiality apparently. But would love to talk to someone with the same thing.

So, Thursday was my chemo day. My preparation really started on Bank Holiday Monday when I had a lovely long chat with my gorgeous cousin, she then sent me an article from The Guardian by Decca Aitkenhead which lead me down two new avenues.

The first one was Pre chemo water fasting! This entailed fasting for 72 hours before chemo and 24 hours after. I read all the info I could find about it including the research by Dr Volter Longo. I also got several messages from lovely people telling me about their fasting and the great success it had been in reducing all the horrid side affects of chemo – sometimes negating them altogether. Dr Longo has done extensive research on mice and found that water fasting removed the HO-1 amino acid from the cells around the cancer (this amino acid protects the cancer from the body’s immune system). It works particularly well on skin and breast cancers. It very much resonates with me as I come from a true belief that given the right tools the body can heal itself.
The Mayo Clinic in the US has been running human trials since 2010 and the study ends August this year. I did 60 hours pre and 24 post and found it remarkably easy. Not hungry at all in fact very strong and positive. Needed an early night but slept very well considering how nervous I was about the chemo.

Second wonderful insight was a permanent hair replacement system by Jennifer Effie who I went and met on Tuesday afternoon. What a gorgeous lady and what an amazing thing she has come up with. A real hair wig, made in Russia, same colours as mine (minus the grey!). It gets stuck on your head and you treat it as you would your own. I am going to get my wonderful hairdresser Joel to cut it to my style and it means I dont have to be bald in bed!!! Hopefully none of you will notice the difference.

So back to the nitty gritty of life. Tuesday in London was my pre chemo day. Echo cardio graph at 8.30am. HK session with my teacher and mentor, Franky Kossy in Harley Street. 12.00 went to talk to a man about a wig. 2pm met my dear friend Kirsten who trained with me in HK and is a wonderful Homeopath and she gave me lots of goodies to help me through. Which worked wonderfully. 3pm met with Jennifer re replacement hair system and then home.

Thursday came around and in hindsight was really not that bad at all. The treatment was time consuming but ‘busy’ – not time to do anything really. We took masses of stuff in to do and did none of it! We went straight home which was a good thing because the afternoon and evening were a bit stressful – with hindsight I think it was a bit of a shock to the system. Next day just felt a bit weak and since then I have just got stronger and stronger.

Today I went off and got all my hair cut short which everyone says makes me look younger. It is supposed to lessen the trauma of losing it when the time comes. If that time doesnt come then I will have to get used to short hair for a while.

So that is the journey so far. One of the big four down and not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. My next chemo date is Wednesday 25th April and I will certainly be doing the fasting again. I really feel it worked. I think my Thursday afternoon reaction was steroids and shock. Hopefully many less steroids next time and my body will understand what it is all about.

My visualisation at the moment is two fish ‘Immo’ and ‘chemo’ swimming towards the cancer and nibbling away at it. I believe my body and the medicines are now working together to get this thing out of me. Once and for all.

 

Firstly I wanted to thank the many many (oh so many) amazing people out there who have supported me so much, in so many ways over the past three weeks. It really has humbled me to tears of happiness and joy on so many occasions and has made the last three weeks a blessing. The checking in calls, texts, emails, WhatsApp’s, facebook comments and messages, instagram notes, the cards, the letters, the presents, the flowers, the books and lastly, and most definitely not leastly finding me people to talk to with Triple Negative. I really have never ever felt so loved, cherished and thought of and I have to admit it is the most amazing feeling and I love you all in turn so very much. I cannot get over how many of you knew when my next chemo was. I cant even remember my family’s birthdays!!

The last three weeks have not been bad at all. I think I have sat around a bit wondering what was coming down the line and when nothing did felt a bit of a fraud. Yes there have been small (and pretty insignificant) problems but on the whole they have been easily sorted with all the wonderful people who have miraculously come into my life over the years. I spoke to three wonderful people about Triple Negative (one lovely lady is an American Actress/Comedian, living in LA). They were so helpful, reassuring and positive and I am about to talk to another lady in India. I have spoken to many other positive and amazing people who have had cancer and they have inspired me and recommended things to me which has been both informative and uplifting.

I have been sent wonderful gifts, flowers, books and I have bought even more books. The one that has struck a cord in me only arrived yesterday. My dear friend Tammy MJ’s sister in law wrote it and it is beautifully and lovingly written, short (always helpful for me!) I seriously would recommend you all order it and read it because we can all learn so much. I knew about most of the things she writes about for the last three years or more but regretfully never did anything about it. Its called ‘A Way Through’ by Louise Gourlay. The other books I have been reading (very slowly) are by Bernie Siegel, they are old but very very relevant. It is very time consuming having cancer!

My Health Kinesiology class have been there for me at every turn with amazing advice, support, love and healing. Every week they do a healing ceremony for me. They take two hours out of their amazingly busy lives to be lead through the most amazing meditative ritual to heal me (I say amazing, but I am in such a deep sleep I cant remember a single thing about it!). I then get up, brush my teeth and go straight back to sleep for the whole night. Elsa Scorer who is also a Shamanic Practitioner, Energy Healer as well as Health Kinesiologist puts together, organises and leads this amazing ceremony for us.

My Yoga Group, have gone beyond by holding a prayer group before every session as well as cooking me vegan goodies which has somehow just been a step too far for me!! They also did the most amazing video of my dog sending me a message for my last chemo. It made my day!

I also regularly see my HK Teacher and Mentor, Franky Kossy, at No1 Harley Street who keeps me balanced and keeps my immune system strong as well as many other things to help me heal and be whole again. I do use a lot of my HK crystals daily and during treatment. On that note, The wonderful India who also trained with me has kindly agreed to take on my clients and is booked in one day a month to work on anyone who needs Health Kinesiology. She is brilliant in every way but her specialities are allergies and IBS. Please get in touch if you would like to book in for a session.

Amanda Brookes’ wonderful online sessions of HK, The Body Code and much more has been a great help on all sorts of levels: ‘taking away the what ifs’, boosting the immune system and removing the steroid shakes, getting rid of my steroid ‘munchies’ and getting back onto my Bright Line Eating. On that note, my two buddies from Bright Line Eating (I had lost 3.5 stone since beginning of Oct 2017) have been on WhatsApp or FaceTime ever day and put up with me breaking all the lines this month but am happy to report that I am now back on track. So thank you Milz and Lindsey.

There are many many many more people I should mention but maybe another time.

When I went to see the wonder Prof. Paul Ellis on Tuesday he was very very pleased with me and even had to concede (a little reluctantly) that my water only fast might be working. The most important thing was he HALVED MY STEROIDS. That was the biggie for me as I was so sure that the steroids where what caused my ‘miserable’ first afternoon after treatment. They also caused me to feel very physically ‘wobbly’ for the first week and then they gave me the ‘munchies’ when I just could not stop eating during week two.

So I went into Wednesday’s chemo session in my new happy shoes but feeling rather trepidatious. My darling sister, Eliza, was chief caretaker. It is a good way of spending time with my friends! Then felt distinctly more nervous when I didn’t get the same nurse as last time (small things can really shake you). Unfortunately new nurse could not access my port and after some digging around and two failed attempts went off to get someone else. By this stage I really felt very unsettled. Luckily new nurse got it in and it was plain sailing from there on in. After the session, Eliza whisked me off home and we were back here by 2pm. I went to bed about an hour later, closely monitored by my sister who was most nervous of a rerun of last time when I had not been too well. I have always been the better nurse! All way better this time. Was totally compusmentos and just needed to rest. I really didn’t feel too bad at all. Spent the second day in and out of bed and the third day was up and roaring around with lots of visitors, cooking meals and had my hair shaved off.

Yes the time has come. It had been coming out in handfuls and was everywhere and driving me crazy. Janika, who has cut my family’s hair for about 38 years on and off, came over to do the deed and my gorgeous friend Lizzy Barclay came and held my hand and kept me chatting. The temporary wig looks good, in fact it looks very good. I had always hated my hair. It was like my paternal grandmothers – thin! It also broke before it grew so it just looked shocking most of the time and I spent so much time and money trying to make it look better and I should have probably done this years ago. It would have saved me a fortune. I don’t like the idea of being bald in bed and have no intention of letting James or anyone see me bald but the little cashmere beanie that is coming today from Amazon should sort that. I wore a fleece hat found in the drawer last night. I look like a pixie. In about 4 weeks time my permanent hair solution arrives so wont need them then.

So this month I am going to start ‘living’ again and not wait around and see what is going to hit me. Because nothing did hit me last time. Going out a lot. Got a family funeral (my darling Aunt Marigold) on Monday which is sad but also so nice to see all that side of the family. We only get together these days for Funerals which is a shame because we all love each other and get on so well. My very talented Goddaughter, Georgie Wadsworth, is coming on Tuesday to cook me my ‘special’ diet. She is going to make me very tasty meals which are perfectly weighed and measured, organic, mostly vegan, sugar and flour free and free of all the other things I cant have. A real nightmare I would have thought but she assures me it will be a walk in the park.

My only fear at the moment is getting ‘ill’ so I stay away from everyone with a cold, cough or other bugs. I do have face masks but haven’t used them yet!

My next chemo is on Tuesday 15th May.

In-depth update for a chosen few – only did this once – May 2018

I would just like to say how incredibly grateful and humbled I am that you have agreed to be the recipient of my ‘in-depth update emails’. I don’t know how this is all going to turn out but several of you have been encouraging me to ‘write’ about my experiences. My darling HK bestie (as she likes to call herself), Ally Colman, has had another of her visions and persuaded me that this is my course in life. Whilst naturally doubtful, I am going to give it a shot as I do seem to lie in bed awake some nights (only a few) thinking what I am going to say in my Update emails. As I only send those emails out periodically most of what I compose in my head never gets down on the iPad. As I am no author, more a ‘from my perspective’ informer type writer I have decided to continue in the vein of updates. Just with many fewer people being bothered by my emails!! Obviously if anyone else wishes to be receive these then I am very happy to add them to the list. So here goes ……..

Have you ever had a white light moment? I haven’t and to be honest I am a bit pissed off that the dear Lord has not seen fit to send me one over the years. I believe in God, I even go to Church quite regularly. I have heard and read about lots of people getting powerful, life changing messages that lead them on to wonderful things and I have always been a bit envious. Yesterday (1.5.18) I realised that I have had a white light moment. It just wasn’t a white light!! It became clear to me why I have got breast cancer. Triple negative, aggressive, in my lymph, the football hooligan of cancers, need to throw the kitchen sink at it, type to just give it the cherry on the top!

As you all may recall I have spent the last two years learning to become the most amazing Health Kinesiologist I can be. I totally believe in the power of all things Energy Medicine. In fact, having qualified at the end of last year I was in the process of adding The Emotion Code and The Body Code to my list of talents and nearly daily was getting over excited about other ‘add on’ therapies I wanted to master. (I also qualified as a reflexologist along the way)

I totally believe in what I do and have seen some amazing results in myself and my clients over the past 2 years but there was always a little doubt that sometimes it might not work for everyone. Although I banged on about it until most people glazed over it wasn’t my immediate ‘go to’ especially for all things medical. We were always told never to talk about ‘cure’ because it was far too contentious and could get us into all sorts of legal problems. Cancer was the big no no. We could ‘soften’ some side affects and help people come to terms with it but that is all we should try and do.

Yesterday, it came to me. I have been chosen to travel this path to prove to me (and maybe others because of me) that Energy Medicine is the missing link and does 100% work in getting rid of cancer. Not in isolation but in tandem with modern medicines and other ‘add ons’ like my water fasting. All the things I do I muscle test to see if they are right for me, if they will help kill the cancer and will they make me feel better.

It came to me after my yoga class. 5 days after my last EC chemo session (the nuclear bomb option of chemo) I did a whole 90 minute yoga session with no trouble at all (and my wig stayed on). My good friend Nicky and I were the only ones doing the class and our wonderful teacher Jo (a yoga inspiration for us slightly older ladies) started it off with a fascinating healing ritual. Half way through Nicky started having an asthma attack (brought on by Zoflora – it needs to be banned). I rushed off to get my allergy crystal (a crystal that I use regularly to correct my clients allergies). Placed it on her third eye chakra (between the eyebrows) and stuck it down with plenty of micropore tape. Immediately it started working and her breathing became normal. A little discussion ensued about how wonderful it was that it always worked and we continued on with the yoga.

Everywhere I go everyone says I look amazing and seem amazing and it must be because I am so positive and brave. I am not brave. I am the biggest scaredy-cat I know. I am also a fatalist. I always think the worse, run the worse case scenarios through my head and really struggle to change the chatter to positive spin. I am even afraid of watching the news!

No, I truly believe that all the things I am doing (HK, water only fasting, releasing trapped emotions) are causing me to not only tolerate the chemo but to keep my body and mind strong and happy. Because the fact is I am well, I am energised, I feel good. I walk around with so many crystals in my bra it’s ridiculous but it seems to be working. I use my ‘allergy crystal’ through all my chemo sessions and for 12 hours afterwards. I drink my beetroot and ginger juice most mornings. The only thing I haven’t mastered yet is to remove (permanently) from my diet eggs, dairy and red meat. I definitely need to make another appointment with the wonderful Amanda Brookes to work on removing whatever is causing this current self sabotage cycle.

So finally, I believe that my white light moment is that I am to be living proof that this stuff works. It is why I feel so good, why I am not having ‘bad weeks’ or even ‘bad days’. It is why I can live a normal life, feel good about myself (for the first time EVER), do the things I enjoy at the same time as getting rid of this aggressive bugger within me.

 

Had my 3rd ‘big’ chemo 10 days ago now. So only 10 more days to go till my 4th (and final) big one. Then on to the weekly ones that start at the beginning of July – how time flies when you are having fun!

I had a great 3 weeks between chemo 2 and 3. I felt great, did masses of lovely things and learnt lots of new things. My Oncologist was so pleased that he suggested that when this is all done and dusted I come back and talk to his other patients (I felt very chuffed). My chemo three and birthday all went smoothly and for the next 3 days I felt very positive and good. Unfortunately I then had a run of about 5 not so great days which I spent in my beautiful bedroom. Great for watching wall to wall royal wedding. I have to admit I loved every bit of Saturday! I then downloaded the box set of suits (have never seen it before) and that was mindless enough to get me through the next 4 days.

I am now up and getting stronger by the day. Not sure what went wrong but suspect I might have overdone it on all fronts and my body decided the only thing to do was shut down for a time!

Last week I discovered ‘The Secret’ dvd (thanks Verity) and before my ‘rest’ period, started to use the tools it talks about. The main tools are Gratitude, Visualisation and Positivity. All of these things I have been doing (in bits and pieces) but it gave me some very practical advice about how to bring them more into my life.

Am off this afternoon to get my ‘permanent’ hair solution fitted. Exited but slightly apprehensive as my interim, synthetic wig has been a great success. Have even had some very positive comments about my baldness but I am not keen to continue along that road. I did, though, appreciate the genuine compliments.

Next (and final ‘big’) chemo is on Tuesday 5th June. So one hurdle will be complete.

How time does fly! It seems like weeks since I last wrote an update. So much has happened. The best news is that I had a scan just before my 4th and final EC (nuclear bomb) chemo and the results were amazing. The cancer has gone from my lymph and my tumour has shrunk by 94%!!!!!! So with my way of thinking, having now had the final EC chemo, it must have gone altogether. Unfortunately, my Oncologist is not of the same opinion and is insistent that I complete my treatment. To this end, after a 4 week break, I started my weekly chemos last Tuesday. I have to admit to being very very nervous about it but in the end it all went smoothly and I don’t feel too bad as a result. These new drugs do have some pretty unpleasant sounding side affects but I am continuing with my fasting for 2 days a week (60 hours of water only) along with a big Health Kinesiology session to make sure that I would not have an allergic reaction to the drugs. Added to that, with my gratitudes and positive thinking, diet and removing negative emotions and stresses from my life, I am sure I will sail through the next 12 weeks. My lovely Oncologist did admit last week to being astounded by my progress and how well I had tolerated the regime so far and that he might (only might) be coming round to some of my ‘complimentary’ tools! For a man who keeps reminding me he is from the ‘intelligent’ side of medicine, this is quite an admission. Below, there is a picture of the list of the 9 things that people who have had a ‘miracle’ healing from cancer all have in common. I came across this list just after my diagnosis and whilst I was doing some of the things already, I have spent the last 3 months taking them to a new level.

My new (permanent) hair is a triumph and I love it, as does everyone else. I really am not sure I will be able to go back to my rather lack lustre hair and this really might end up being a permanent solution. Strangely enough my nails and skin have never been so good and with a nice tan I really don’t look bad at all. This all really helps me feel happy and healthy and I am sure goes a long way to helping me along the road to recovery.

 

The whole summer has flown by and we all managed to get ourselves into a lovely weekly routine. Every Monday I would go to London with James (very early in the morning!). He would go to work and I would rest up or go to appointments and get my bloods done in preparation for the next days chemo session. I spent a lot of Monday evenings sitting in restaurants watching James and Josh eat dinner while I drank fizzy water out of a large wine glass as I was on my pre chemo fasting. Tuesday’s became a bit of a highlight of the week as I would get to spend 4 hours with a wonderful friend catching up on the chit chat. Thank you so much to all my chemo buddies you have been so amazing giving up your precious time to come to London and be with me.

The weather has been wonderful and my new seating area (which the is now known as the love island couch because they have the same seating arrangement apparently – I wouldn’t know as I do not approve!) has been heaven sent. I am currently ‘lounging around’ on it while I type this. There is nothing more perfect than an English summer with good weather and I didn’t have to fight my way through a packed airport or deal with the Ryanair strike to get here.

My chemo regime has not been too bad at all. Every time I got a side affect I used one of the amazing people or tools at my disposal and it miraculously disappeared. I have felt ‘weaker’ as time goes on but as I really haven’t had to do anything but rest, so that has not been a problem!

So everything was going very well with my treatment until this week when my bloods were wonky and my white blood cell count too low for me to have chemo. The week before I had been for an ultrasound and they could not find the tumour so they sent me for a mammogram which showed a very feint shadow where the massively reduced tumour had been in June. I then had a meeting with my wonderful Oncologist on Thursday and he gave me the option of stopping the treatment early. He said that whilst he would prefer me to carry on till I had completed the course of 12 he felt I was so in tune with my body that if I wanted to stop early he was prepared to consider it. So we compromised and I will have my last chemo next week on Tuesday (no 9 of the preplanned 12). I am over the moon. Obviously I still have to have a minor op (more a biopsy of the area the tumour was in and some lymph glands) followed by 20 sessions of radiotherapy over 4 weeks but that should be a walk in the park and should be over and done with by Christmas at the latest. Then it will just be a matter of time to get my strength back and start working again. So all in all a very successful summer.

One of the most positive things that has happened to me this summer was the discovery that one of my HK colleagues (we studied together for a year) went from terminal, stage 4, lung and liver cancer to cancer free in less than a year. He had been sent home to die with some palliative care chemo to ease the side affects. He used all his amazing wisdom and knowledge (backed up by muscle testing – Health Kinesiology) to rid his body of all the tumours and cancer. The medical profession are calling him an anomaly but I believe that he is an amazing person who has taken control of his health, followed his gut instinct, done the research and come up with a brilliant, simple way of fighting cancer naturally and it worked!!! It is certainly simple enough for me to use to make sure that my cancer never has a chance of returning.

The other good news is that my hair started to grow back at the beginning of July and whilst I am imagining it blonde, thick, strong and long the family tell me it is salt and pepper baby hair!!

IT HAS ALL GONE!! I am sorry it has taken me so long to do this update but I wanted to finish everything before writing my final missive. My last radiotherapy was two weeks ago.
I had my lumpectomy and lymphectomy operation at the beginning of October and a week later the results came back and there was no sign of the cancer anywhere. We were over the moon! I had known in my heart of hearts it was gone but it’s always nice to get it confirmed by the Drs. Strangely, because of these results it made the radiotherapy much much more difficult to do and the whole process became very stressful and took much longer than I had previously imagined. Finally, with the help of my gurus and ‘angel cards’ I got my head into a better place and have made it through to the end.

 

During the last 5 weeks, which we spent in London, I have managed to see so many people and have lovely catch ups. I am not sure how James is going to manage going back to a 5.20am alarm call and my cooking!

Two weeks on and my radiation ‘sun burn’ is at the peeling stage and it’s all beginning to feel like a distant memory. James and I went away for a weekend and walked along wet and windy beaches to celebrate. Happily I can still do nice long walks. During the last 5 weeks in London I have walked everywhere listening to books on Audible. I am currently listening to Michelle Obama’s book which is really good. My hair is growing and although gun metal grey in colour is looking ‘good’ and is really soft (so I am told).

If you are interested in statistics then you might be interested to know that only 15% of breast cancer is Triple Negative and that, heartbreakingly, only 15% of sufferers end their chemotherapy cancer free as I did. Happily that number rises significantly to 70% after surgery, radiotherapy and other treatments. Breast Cancer Now is the charity which spends a lot of its money on trying to improve these statistics so I won’t be sending out Christmas cards this year as a large donation is heading their way.

Going forward, I am off to India in mid January to an amazing place called Vana for some R and R. Vana is a wellness clinic and I am hoping that time there will give me the space to come to terms with the last 9 months and bring the whole episode to a nurturing end. Someone said to me it will be like putting in a full stop. I hope to arrive home mid February ready to start the next chapter of my life.

The last eight months have been the most extraordinary roller coaster ride and I have to say a lot more ‘good’ experiences have come from it. I have learnt so so much but it is really hard to put all these experiences into words (another thing to do when I am in India). I do things know that I would never have contemplated doing it in the past. To be honest, I would have been very negative about even considering them! Even now, when I try to explain some of the things that have helped me I can see people rolling their eyes (especially the medical profession).

One thing, above all, I have learnt is that everyone is different and everything works differently for different people. The brain and thought processes are more powerful than any medicine or computer and we all underutilise them.

Positive Vibes really do make Positive Lives!

James has been a superstar and has been there for me every step of the way. He has had great support from friends and colleagues in his day to day life for which we are both very very grateful. The children have also been superstars and proved to everyone that they can rise up and be amazing human beings whatever life throws at them. I think some of my positive vibes are finally getting through to them!

I am hoping to start working again in February and whilst Health Kinesiology will be my foundation I am sure that lots of the amazing things I have discovered, learnt about and practised through the last 9 months will figure heavily in my working practices when appropriate. One of the messages I want to get across to anyone and everyone is that there is a lot we can do to heal our bodies, minds and lives and all we need is to take control of our health (physical, mental, spiritual) and ask for help and if at first we don’t succeed we need to keep trying. Never give up hope, there are all sorts of amazing complimentary therapies, practices, lifestyles out there that make what the brilliant doctors do much more complete. My lovely oncologist, Prof Paul Ellis, said that he had never had a patient who made his medicine so magical. Too many people think that its one or the other. It’s not, complimentary medicine is exactly what it says on the tin. It’s complimentary not alternative.